Practical Ways to Help a Pregnant or Postpartum Mom

It’s not uncommon for friends and family to offer to help “with whatever you need” when someone is expecting a baby or newly postpartum; but it often ends there with the loved ones not knowing exactly what is helpful or the new mom feeling uncomfortable reaching out. Here are some tips on how to actually be helpful and supportive when you have a close friend or family member with a new baby. 

During pregnancy:

• Offer to care for older children when she has prenatal appointments

• Offer to host a baby shower or mother’s blessing party

  • Always get permission as some moms might be uncomfortable with this

• Suggest a nesting party to help get the home ready for baby’s arrival and her postpartum recovery

  • This can be with a small group of close friends or just you and the new mom

• Make some meals to help stock her freezer

  • Ensure she has plenty of freezer space first

• Offer to take care of any other children or pets for when she goes into labor

Postpartum:

• Give space for the new family to settle in and adjust after the baby is born. Respect their decisions regarding visitors.

• When you are invited to come visit, emphasize how excited you are to see her, not just the baby.

• Don’t visit empty-handed. Here are a few ideas of something you could bring:

  • Text in advance and tell her you’re stopping at the coffee shop on the way and you want to know her order.

  • Stop at the grocery store on the way to go visit. Text ahead of time and tell her you are picking up a few groceries and ask what she needs. Maybe give a few suggestions if she is overwhelmed and needs ideas. Helpful things could include fruit and veggies, milk, snacks, toilet paper etc.

  • Bring a hot meal or one to pop in her fridge or freezer.

  • Bring a postpartum gift basket or some diapers and wipes for the baby.

• When visiting, never expect to be entertained. Go with the intention of spending time with your friend, celebrating her new baby and helping with some household chores

  • Instead of saying, “let me know if I can help with anything” or “Is there anything you want me to do to help?” try saying, “Would it be more helpful for me to wash dishes or fold laundry while I’m here?”, or “I’ll clean the bathrooms and put a meal in the fridge before I go today”

• Don’t overstay your welcome. Remember, even if the new mom is showered and dressed, she is still recovering and exhausted. Short visits are best at this time. 

• For specific ways to support the breastfeeding mother, check out our post To the Breastfeeding Mother’s Village